Okay, let’s get down to the bottom of these Scorpio eclipses. Good to watch the Pele Report of 10/19/22 before reading this, as I will refer to it in the newsletter. As I mentioned in the report, I’ve been reading about death, what happens before it, what it is, and what happens during and after it. I read some of this in the report, but of course, there is more. I’m just writing/thinking here, so feel free to take what resonates with you and leave the rest!

I’m thinking about karma, and what it is that has us returning and returning to this earth. More specifically, how can we clear/clean it up so we’re done and can move on? According to what I have been reading, we need to let go of all “self-grasping” and “self-cherishing” and fill ourselves with compassion for all. This is also repeated in Gigi Young’s referring to the sacral chakra and our need to let go of selfish desires. This also corresponds to many Christian teachings, and though I am not sure, I’ll bet it corresponds to Jewish, Muslim, and just about every other religion on earth.

In contrast, we have Jeffrey Wolf Green and Evolutionary astrology pointing to Mars (desires) being the lower octave of Pluto (the soul), and there being dual co-existing desires within the soul that set the stage for evolution. The desire to separate from the source that created us and the desire to return to the source that created us. He teaches that our instinctual desires emanate from the soul and boil down to one of those two primary desires. He further discusses the evolutionary stages wherein we separate, individuate, and then return like a wave upon the sea.

My dilemma has been that I have been wanting (bad) for this to be my last life and have been heading (somewhat unsuccessfully, I may add) in the direction of returning to Source, which I have assumed entails relinquishing all desires. However, after reading about what happens when you die (and getting closer to it every day), I’m losing hope in the prospect of being able to move on. And so I am left to wonder, is that BAD? Am I a guilty sinner that deserves punishment and has bad karma? Will my next life be terrible as a result of this failure? Or is this life a mere stepping stone amongst 1000s of stepping stones, and my next life might even be better due to what improvements (however small) I may have made in this life?

If planet earth is indeed a school we graduate from, we could use an example that one of the assignments is to be a lion tamer. If we fail to tame the lion (and hopefully don’t get eaten), are we “punished,” or do we simply come back again to try over? Now, let’s say besides failing to tame the lion, the lion ate another person. Then our failure has caused HARM. So, this then results in negative karma? I’ve maintained for a long time that INTENTION is really what can be judged, but perhaps I’m mistaken. After reading about the MIND, I think that even our intentions can be driven by unconscious complexes, distortions, illusions, lies, etc. Not until we are “fully conscious” can our choices be for the “highest good.” So where are we left?

We’re left with letting go of as much of our thoughts, beliefs, and intentions as possible to meditatively sink (or rise) to a fuller, greater awareness of just what and who we are. This, indeed, is a process. And it is a process I believe (if I dare) that we are being asked to do now with these eclipses and the world events that we are collectively facing (an increasing death rate being one of them). So, what is your “bare true Self” that this week’s mantra refers to? I choose to believe that it’s awesome, and I may be wrong, but I’m going to keep telling myself that anyway and take the rest as conscious failures or unconscious mistakes. I don’t really know if I could find joy any other way. These are just a few thoughts for this week as the energy builds to the total lunar eclipse on the 8th. Keep on keeping on and blessings on your journey. Take it easy on yourself and others through these times, too, OK?